a prayer of the finite

I don't know if I can do this, been positive of my uncertianty for so long, from chaos I was born, and nursed on a flame that flickers around my heart, what beast guards my soul,
I feel there should be some purpose, something more then longing, something more then clever self deciet, how can I trust this, I have woken perfectly content in my dreaming to long, chased by memories of a wretched beast, and everyone smiled and carried on like there was nothing wrong, and now, there seems to be something more, that the questions that have lingered, and if there is some understanding to be reached, for all the lies that they preach, something of a purpose must exist, some goal more then the one that will be discarded for the next, some hand that hold mine tightly as I breath my last breath...