War and Peace

let the anger be the force behind the bow string, but aim the bow

There seem to be two primary forces working inside of me, one that is seeking peace, and the other that is enraged with an endless anger. I sat one day and looks to my heart was shocked to realized that it was consumes with anger, like a flame that surrounded it. This anger at a world that was not as it should be that I had isolated myself from and shunned for it's ignorance, it's obsession with the trivial, it's lack of motivation or concern about the inequities that seem so clear, of the obviousness that there is a stream of useless memetic data that is being spoonfed to the masses. But my rage is my own, and how can I cry ignorance at the world, point fingers and pray for their slow demise, without looking inward to myself, and my own ignorances.

It was on a walk the other day, after a fight with someone whom I have admittadly wronged, and who has wronged me in kind. The realization was that I don't want to fight, well at least not that useless, over and over again, questioning things that can't be undone sorta fight. And the conclusion that I have came to many times with this friend is simply, do you want peace, or do you want conflict? What use is there in the conflict of what might have been?

On orgins, in a social context, what is the orgin of conflict, particulary in the context of conflicts of ideas....war no longer serves the purpose of ensuring one tribes traditional culture code, and wipe out an opposing culture code that would currupt one set of cultural programing. Why war?

Perhaps, on a personal level, it is a fixation on a set perception and an unwillingness to see beyond this perception that causes much of the inner struggle with the outer world. The root of anger being ignorance, or the inability to see things as they are, while insistant upon seeing things as they 'should be'. Now we all much live somewhere in the middle of how things should be and how things are. Life is beautifully ugly at times, and to strive for peace seems to be to struggle with that fact, and the acceptance that beyond the gross nature of this existance, there is something that resonates within us all and keeps this light show going.