I want you to find happiness.....

when I start to have these realizations that I'm just getting by, that I haven't been happy in a while. Then I remember, I was happy, I know what makes me happy.....
I was standing on my front porch smoking a cigarette and trying not to think to much about the things I cannot change, because I don't have a solution, don't have the words right now, and would rather not say the wrong thing...I digress, where she was smiling back through the neighbors window, dark hair, raised eyebrow, that 'I know something you don't know' smile....oh my goddess, sweet agent of chaos in it's purest and most beautiful form....had to walk to get Empire Chinese Buffet out of Franklin, walked from the bus stop at the University, it was just a bit after 5, and I was late already, I had only a few dollars and wasn't going to spend $10 on buffet, so I drank water and listened engaged in conversation with the guys....John's farewell dinner...much of the conversation was beyond my scope, DPS ratios in WoW, what can I say just not that interested...John is going to Virgina to live with Dan and work on a programming project, something to do with creating an algorithm to indentify MP3s, likely for some purely evil purpose, but they are paying him LOTS of money, and that works for John....so we all got fortune cookies, and mine read something along the line of...Joy is not what you get, but what you give.....and the game was to and the words 'in bed' and the end...that works...definately. I've been in this slump for feels like a couple month, there are moments, but it's not like it was....I want to share it I want someone to share it with, I enjoy doing things for others, but after a while the cup is empty, and I get selfish, and close of to the world, waiting for something to happen, and there I have been....and so I'm outside on the porch smoking my cigarette, she's still smiling at me, her face big and bright, her dark eyebrow raised, yes she knows what it's all about....






I saved a Dragonfly today....it had clear wings with black spots and was caught on it's back on the pavement...it look incapacitated, but once I slipped a piece of paper under it, flipped him over and put him in the shade, and off he zipped....boom bip...move aside....let the man go....through