around the block....a day, and a week, things previously unspoken

it's a short trip down to the park where I swing, why do I swing, it's a childish thing, and on the headphones burroughs speaks of western lands, the road is devious unperdictable, a dangerous road, I have failed every trial set before me, burnt so may bridges and made a toy of all that might be a tool, a fool, suffering for his own folly, and yet I must continue, next track, el hombre, the man, when does a chld become a man....I stand before you may I pass, may I pass, do I have to ask. And what of that girl, the one who will one day cry on my shoulder, do I ask her, do I tell her what I see, where I've been, of my folly and quests for redemption, that my heart is pounding, and it frightens me, of the daydreams. The sand stuck to my shoes makes the pavement uneven as I leave the playground, but by the time I round the corner it has been worn away. I think maybe I should see someone on the street and give them this disc, so they may hear what I have heard. Another corner, a shadow on the grounds startles me briefly, I walk further. My heart beats, my heart beats, has it ever been so apparent, so much joy and sorrow awaits up before we reach the shore, did I imagine what I saw that day, was it a glimpse of a heaven with all it joys and sorrows, or a clever illusion, a daydreamers picnic beside a field of tall grass with a girl will cry on my shoulder. I loose my footing pavement i step on is cracked and sloping at 2 different angles, I was distracted by a what looked like a road sign, to dark to make out, in lawn of a house as I pass. The day after a daydream a terror settles over, this is all illusion, distraction, my heart beats, but this time, panic, where is this, how can any of this be anything more then a fantasy that will leave me feeling defeated. Further down the block is a the sweet smelling flowers, honeysuckle, I pass once, and then when the fragrance hits me I back of and stop to smell again...is there a land beyond fear. The heart beats, the heart beats, it will have to be removed ripped out of my chest and planted firmly in the ground where it can grow on it's own, let it be the best of me, you can bury the rest of me. What is the one things on my mind: fear redemption fire eternity the clouds and your eyes reality destiny words quid est veritas sorrow tears laugher joy chance or fate pleasure pain nothingness and nowhen existance sex and death ".....a moment later..........and so at last I understood......go."